flash forward fables first place!
And To Think, The Day Started Out So Pleasantly
By Lydia Henson
First of all, Ridita doesn’t, nor ever did, have a death wish. (I need you to keep that in mind when she jumps off a fifty-eight story building later.) Also, despite the fact that step three of her plan was to “Initiate serious butt kicking,” she never intended to start a full on war between her planet and a whole slew of very angry, very elaborately dressed, aliens. All of that was purely accidental, I swear.
Usually, Ridita spent her days in the palace performing her duties as a security guard. Today, however, there was some event happening there and she’d been given the day off, though Ridita didn’t remember what exactly it was. She had been too excited about spending time in the glass-domed city of Inon with her best friend Mirena to listen.
Mirena was a Stag– a magical creature who could shift from one life-form to another with an unnerving seamlessness. Whatever form she took however, she never lost her elegant, ivory antlers nor her long, pearl-layden eyelashes. Though she hadn’t been born in Inon, she came to love the city and had moved there a few years ago.
Inon was essentially a floating marble that hung suspended in the center of the gas-filled planet they called home. The gravity here was backwards, pulling things from within it outward, as if the whole place were trying to inside-out itself. The unique conditions kept Inon floating in place, but they also created an empty chasm of anti-gravity in the center of the city, as buildings were built on the outside of the dome and pointed inward. The only way to safely cross the void was via hover taxi.
The two girls were staring at that very same void, chatting happily, until Mirena spotted something strange in the sky. “Hmm… that’s odd,” she muttered.
Ridita, confused, followed her gaze and froze. The other end of the city was far but she could just make out a cluster of space pods as they surrounded the imperial palace.
Ridita gasped and jumped to stand. “We’re being invaded! I’ve got to save the Queen!”
This, if you hadn’t already guessed, (though I hope you have since I quite ingeniously foreshadowed this in the beginning,) is the moment the aliens arrived. As a general rule, planetary relations visited Inon frequently but they had never come in the hundreds until now. Given the fact that Ridita protects the palace for a living, and this looked quite a bit like an invasion, you can understand why she jumped to some rather untimely conclusions.
Mirena grabbed her over-excited friend by the arm. “Woah! Slow down! We don't know if that’s true!”
“Why else would aliens be here?” Ridita asked, tugging herself free.
“Maybe…” the Stag began.
“Exactly!” came the interruption. “Let me think of a plan…”
“Who said anything about a–”
“I’ve got it!” Ridita shouted. “A three step plan to victory! Step one: We scale the walls of the news tower over there,” she pointed to a tower that extended vertically out from the city dome. “It dangles the farthest over the void.”
“Why not use the elevator?” Mirena asked. “Wouldn’t that work?”
“Not if we’re trying to get to the roof!”
***
“Who’s terrible idea was it to climb to the roof!?” Ridita called as she walked precariously along the windowed face of the sky-skaraper. Using the building as a giant balance beam had seemed like a good idea in the moment but, now that she was up here, Ridita was seriously second guessing herself.
“Um… your idea?” Mirena huffed back. She had taken on the form of a leyu, a thin, deer-like creature with six feathered wings and brilliant blue eyes that were intensified by the beads of pearl along Mirena’s eyelashes. They were also known for their innate sense of balance. “Cheater,” Ridita had scoffed, trying to mask her fear. Now she wasn’t so sure…
***
“Once we get to the roof,” Ridita continued, “we can execute step two: jump onto a passing hover taxi and ride it to the palace.”
Mirena’s jaw dropped. “No way! Do you realize what would happen if we missed and fell?! We’d be suspended in the center of the void for eternity!”
Ridita shrugged her off. “Relax! I’m highly trained in parkour! I promise I won’t miss.”
***
“Um… ” Ridita stuttered, nervously backing away from the edge of the roof. The two girls had been peering down at the passing traffic below. “You first?”
Mirena side-eyed her friend. “Yeah… no. Come on, time to go.” She turned, but Rdita grabbed her by the shoulder.
“Wait!” she pleaded. “The Queen!”
“Ridita, listen to me,” Mirena whined. “I know you mean well but this is such a bad idea…”
“Trust me!” her stubborn companion said, bouncing on her toes to hype herself up. “We can do this! One… two… three!” Ridita made a running leap, arms spread wide… and immediately took back her promise.
Mirena’s breath caught in her throat as she watched the girl fall with a scream. She dive bombed, tackling Ridita mid-air and wrapping her hooves around the girl. She bundled up as tight as possible, trying to keep velocity. If they lost momentum they would be stranded for sure! For a terrifying moment, Mirena thought they might be, but at the last second they landed with a *thud* smack dab in the center of a passing taxi. The two laid there, gasping for breath, as Mirena slipped back into her natural shape.
“For the love of… would it kill you to not die!?” she wheezed.
***
“Once we arrive at the palace gates,” Ridita said, moving on, “we’ll gather the servants. With their help we can continue to step three: initiate serious butt kicking!
“Oh… what does that mean?” Mirena asked, concerned.
Ridita grinned menacingly. “It means exactly what it sounds like.”
***
Bang! The doors to the palace dining hall swung open. Thousands of fancily dressed aliens, who had previously been enjoying a delicious feast, turned their confused gazes to the commotion. Mummers spread through the room like ripples as Ridita entered it alongside a great deal of servants.
“Charge!” They cried as one, running head first at the startled guests who sprang up from their seats with shouts of “we’ve been tricked!” and “This means war!”
The ensuing fight was like any other fight you’ve seen before so I’ll spare the details. Needles to say, it consisted of much yelling, kicking, screaming, and a fair bit of biting. Thankfully, nobody was hurt beyond bruised foreheads and battered elbows, but losses could not be entirely avoided and the tally of squished casualties came to about thirty-six cupcakes and one giant Jello mold. (May they rest in peace.)
The battle raged for two whole minutes until another person burst into the room. “Stop!” they boomed, voice rattling through the walls. Everyone turned to face the newcomer and a gasp went up among the crowd. The Queen had arrived and she looked furious. Even more shocking, however, was Mirena, who stood just to her left.
Ridita’s jaw dropped. “Mirena? But… What about saving the Queen?”
The Stag folded her arms across her chest. “She’s not in danger! I’ve been telling you all afternoon that you were jumping to conclusions and making bad decisions, but you wouldn’t listen! This isn’t an invasion, it’s a celebration of Inon’s hundredth birthday which the Queen informed you of earlier this morning! These people are her guests!”
Ridita gulped. For the first time, she took in the colorful decorations that lined the walls and the party attire of the aliens “Oh…”
The Queen planted her hands on her hips and glared down at Ridita. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
Ridita flinched. “Um… oops?”
The room went silent. Then, slowly, an alien began to laugh. Then another! More and more joined in until the whole room is in an uproar!
“Ahh, go easy on her,” a slimy, purple alien interjected.
“Yeah,” added another. “We don’t mind a good skirmish here or there!”A chorus of agreement bubbled up all around and Ridita turned to the Queen with remorse in her eyes.
The Queen groned. “alriiiiight. Just don’t let it happen again! Besides, you’re my best guard and I can’t afford to fire you.”
“Thank you, your highness!” Ridita gasped, eager for a second chance. “I promise I'll do better!” Then she turned to Mirena. They stood awkwardly together for a moment, fidgeting in the tention. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you,” Ridita finally apologized. “I’ll work on that.”
“You’d better!” Mirena grumped. Eventually though, she winked. “But I forgive you. Truthfully, I’m just glad you’re not hurt. Should we get out of here?”
Her friend grinned sheepishly. “Please!”
***
“Got all that?” Ridita asked her friend as she stood up. The Stag nodded warily. “Great! Let’s go save the Queen!”
Mirena just sighed. “And to think the day started so pleasantly.”